Mik's Word

mikness — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:05:02 +0000

Better words need be said . For this is not bliss but and awaking from a dormant ignorance once again. This may be the return of my mood swings, and believably cynical thoughts. Amongst these emerges a breath of truth. An enlightenment of the mind. This regards why I long further still for meaning purpose and usefulness. As silly as it may seem, not so long ago I helped everyone, I gave & I gave , when I was done I gave some more. Maybe this is an arrogant thought to rest upon, or merely filled with bias. I never take what I need, It seems I help so many but cannot help myself. I remember once a friend said to me ” Mik you are so different from other guys. I don’t trust them with my purse, I trust you with my life.” How true this may be is beyond words depicting irrelevancy. The problem was I don’t say no. Maybe so I bring upon so much pain to myself I don’t need others to do it for me. I’ve come to accept in my life so far, nothing worth holding to has ever worked as desired. My hopes,aspirations & even sometimes needs fallen victim to what I guess is kindness. I don’t want to blog in mystery like so many others, complexity is great, but simplicity is always better. I need someone to see through this, and understand that I don’t ever want to be left, I often wonder what my last thought on this earth will be. A unhealthy thought to have none the less. I Like to think that somewhere in there, lies every girl I have ever kissed , every friend I ever made. May I be so lucky just like you, to see a happy ending, not riches, but wisdom, most importantly Love & Peace. I hope that before my time does end, I have someone i can love , friends that have never once left my side, And a story that someone knows.

It’s almost over.

mikness — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 11:12:05 +0000

I just realised my childhood/adolescence are so close to over. All im thinking of is everyone I’ve met in my life. I’m thinking about how these people have changed my life. Thinking of my first day of school, thinking of when I met my best mate , thinking of when I first skated with a crew. Mostly I’m thinking of the people who have made faded into the background. I have had about 4 “bestfriends” that i remember. Funny how now there is one. Funny how now i can grow a goatee, and drink suds in the sun. Funny how I already wanna go back to when i was fourteen. Everyone is right they really are your best years. I’ve come to realise people come in and out of life very quickly, going over people that stay in my life for a year and the disappear. I’m no longer getting upset over these things , I’ve realised life is balanced everytime someone leaves someone else will step in. life is so beautiful in this way

No one means anything.

mikness — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 22:33:13 +0000

I have decided seeing as people never mean forever or love , im going back to the way i used to be. I am simply being my old self which as a human being i guess is worse. but im not gonna be the one person who takes shit again. When im old me i deal the shit, and if you dont agree i would just hurt you. Sure i was way,way more ,violent i swore more ,i had little or no respect but its better than having another person i love hurting me all over again , better to hurt others than to be hurt for the hundreth time.

Why save the day anymore ?

mikness — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 10:47:47 +0000

This title is not literal it dose not refer to a superman like charecter saving the world from certain distruction. It dose nt refer to the Soldiers defending us. It dose however refer to people that are stepped over , unappreciated & ignored. How do these people save the day ? This post is aimed at the number of girls i know over the weeks past complaining about the lack of good guys out there, this is no one person , ive had a good five to ten girls complain. And honestly ive had enough, its just bullshit. If you really think men are so bad try being one. How many nice women is there out and about these days ? the answer is not that many. But you wanna know the bigg diff is all women even the good ones , cant tell a nice guy from a complete dick. i know im angry but , its purely stupidity. See how hard is it to tell that your not gonna meet a nice guy in a mosh pit or a party where every one is fucking popin’ pills and smoking up a storm. The good blokes , the nice guys that you pretend you want arent there. ill say it one more time they arent there.
See the good guy the nice guy is the guy that gets three phone calls a week cause some guy treated girls badly. I’ve honestly had enough. And another thing your not gonna find a nice boy who smokes or does weed or drinks way too often, these things should be like a big sign that says ” STAY AWAY”. But no see this becomes some sort of fucked up turn on. You can say what you want about that but the truth is i know it. I had a friend once say : “See he kicked a guys ass and put him in hospital, i know he’s like a hard nut , and it kinda turns me on “. What the fuck! defend that shit. And then this is like the next point why do women think they can change a guy ? Ok if he is a dick who for some reason your are attracted to , what makes u think oh he can treat me good. That is borderline retardation. If he is a dick have some sort of brains stay away. The truth be told ive said it before ill say it again” women don’t want a relationship you want a project”. its rare that you will find an exception to the rule , i dont think i have ever. There are good guys out there i know a few really nice guys that are single and have been for ages. See when it gets down to it the nicest people around might not be the best looking or the coolest , but when you go for hot and cool or even that kind thats kinda tough, dont expect nice. regardless of what you may say women are much more shallow then men. See a decent guy that you say your looking for is the guy who will take you out whne your upset and spend his weeks pay on you , just to get a little smile. Now why is it that this guy get stepped over everytime , well its proberly a combernation of all these things, he isnt a hardnut , he isnt he coolest and he isnt alwasy the best looking but dont worry he is the nicest. There is a few nice guys out there. And the worst thing of all nice guys arent like a brother to you , dont say that it pisses us off, four times this week i copped that shit , just dont say it even if you feel it. So im over it if you actually wanted a good relationship and to be happy youd stop stepping over the few good guys there are , dont tell me it dosent happen or its not you cause it happens every single day .

And the truth be told

mikness — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 12:19:21 +0000

I’ve recently discovered what is wrong why i am sad , why i feel pain. Whats worse is im told nothing will change it. I see all these happy people walking by me lughing giggling at nothing at all. All that comes to mind is how are they so happy and how am i not so. It’s cause these people dont think of anything big in life. They sit by and let life lead them. They are average people. I on the other hand have been told i have a psychological age of over 30. So what does this mean. It means my thoughts and emotions and even intrests are the same as someone over thrity yearsof age. This is nothing but a problem im still in school. It’s just made my life hell and im not the only one. No one will get that i hate making small talk about how some bogan kicked ten goals on the weekend. The sadets thing is no one gets how i feel inside, they only think they do. Imagine a world where people fee threatened by your conversations or thoughts. The other thing i have been told and these things have been said by professionals , is that i am heavily right brained. This apprently means i love creativity, and its true . But now days the arts is controlled by idiots , to be marketed to idiots. Music isnt music anymore its about sales , art is about how people will only comment on its beauty when your dead. Music died with the sixties. But more than that The world of where money was nothing and love was everything is gone. it’s gone only to be heard about and marveled over. With no one to really understand me , the world is a cold place.

Another Passer By

mikness — Fri, 16 May 2008 11:19:40 +0000

It seems in my life I am far too willing to help anyone to care for anyone. This seems to be my major character flaw in this world. The moment i care for some one and help get them back on track , they disappear like Houdini. This is something that I have needed to say for a while. I seem to find meaning when i help another human being , its who i am. But when they tell me I’m important to them and i mean so much to them that i get hurt. Many people talk to me when their lives seem to be in ruin, I help them , I make them feel good about themselves again. Then and this happens every time I get kicked to the curb like yesterdays garbage. I’m sitting here wondering is there a sense of justice left in the world. Those who give never receive , those who care are never cared for. my advice be a complete dick to everyone cause I’m telling you from my own experience there is no justice nor benefit of being a good person.

These Small Moments

mikness — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:41:16 +0000

These small moments that take our breath away , these small moments that makes everything wrong feel oh so worth while. In life we live for small moments. We live for these spurts of intense and pure joy. Anyone who says that they are happy most of the time knows no of happiness but of ignorance. True happiness is that one day out of the three hundred & sixty four other that you can look back upon and say I was truly happy then. Most of these moments happy when we are young , before the weight of the world left our shoulder all but bridal. One day when we are old we can look back on this and just think about all the things we did that now looks stupid. We will look back and think of people we knew , we will look back on pure moments , Those small moments when we were happy.

Life

mikness — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:14:04 +0000

We sit at home like am now looking for answers to all our problems that in retrospect mean absolutely nothing. We look for answers with out ever asking the answers. Hendrix once said ” just ask the answers” you might ask what that means if anything. It means more than four words. It is the answer to the questions that we cant answer. Is there a God ? the question is how well off would we be if we knew the answer? What if the answer was no?The thing is half the world wouldn’t see the point of living and the others would wander around throwing morals to the wind.

The things about life is everyone tells you that good things happen to good people, there are no rules to life. There is no godly balance of Karma, there is reward to those who are great. The closest good people get in life is knowing that they are good. The best people betrayed , hurt & just plain screwed by these bad people. There is no rewards , nothing to gain . Look at half of the rich powerful people in the world, they crush lives on a daily basis.

Everyone tries to feed you their shit about how positive this will give you positive that , its all up to you. The truth is we wake up every morning put on a fake smile walk out the door. We hop in our car that is intentionally designed to last less than 15 years. We drink our cup of cheap coffee and drive. A smile doesn’t mean your happy anymore it means thats how i wanna look. scattered throughout our lives are these short brief & distance memories as clear as any movie. These brief seconds thats your happiness.

Then we reach a point were we wake up and wonder why we have to put on this cheap smile drive our shit car. Then we look back on the same memories and realize we haven’t added any lately. Life hits a peak and then it slides down hill oh so fast. The only happy people are foolish people who are ignorant of the chaos the envelopes them. Albert Schweitzer once said “ Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.”

The deal is only a handful of people care when your sad so you might as well be happy. The thing is if we had our Brazilian coffee and our Ferrari in the drive way what would we really have? Sadness & Depression are simply a reflection of others negative feelings , block them out don’t bounce them around.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim

Mik – “after the worst day of my life”

Two Ways Of Life

mikness — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 13:35:48 +0000

I cant remember how this story of my came to be but oh well.

There once was a man who was the head of the worlds biggest bank. This man become stressed with his busy life so he goes to Mexico on vacation. One the first day this man lays on the beach. He sees a local man go out to sea to fish. Later the man returns only 2 hours later with 5 fish. The banker is puzzled by the fact that he spent next to no time at sea. The banker sees this every day of his holiday. On the final day he walks up to the local man and says “why do u catch so little fish ?”. The Local man replies ” I catch only what my family and I will eat that night , I may sell one or two for other food, Then in the afternoon I play with my children and adore my wife, and at night I sip wine and play guitar with my dearest amigos.” The banker says well if you caught more fish u could make more money and then buy a second ship and make even more, eventually you would have a fleet and you could afford wonderful things.” The local man says ” and then what.” the banker replies ” you could start a store and become famous and powerful and have anything you desire.” The local man says with a smile “and then what?” The banker looks puzzled and then smiles. The banker says ” well you could catch enough fish for you and your family to eat really just to relax, then you could be with your children & wife in the afternoon, and by night you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”

This is life depends on how you live it.

Hate Is to Forget

mikness — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 16:09:38 +0000

Simple i wrote tuns and yet deleted it all because ill be honest hatred is for the weak & small minded , Those who can forgive forget what love is, and those who love will forget hatred. If you choose to hate and believe me it is entirely optional are doomed to be hated. Forgiveness and truth will set you free. The truth is to hate you have to work to love you have to do nothing, Hatred is forgetting love.

“Love when you need to.
Love when you want to.
Love when you crave to.
Love when you Live to.
You will be loved when you need to be loved.
You will be loved when you want to be loved.
You will be loved when you crave to be loved.
You will be loved when you live to be loved.
Love and be Loved.”